Chavs - kids that think their hard

Most UK cities have these little viruses loitering around the streets these days. I say Viruses because they are nasty little buggers that have spread across the country at an alarming rate. I am sure other countries with have their own version of these little skid marks, only under a different name.

Basically they are gangs of youths not quite kids anymore but still far from being adults that hang around village centres picking on any normal kid that looks weaker than them, drinking cider, puking cider and pissing in bus stops are to name but a few of their amazing talents.

However in recent times we are reading more and more articles in the newspapers of these "idiots" carrying knifes and even reports of them stabbing some father because he has asked them to move away from the front of his house. Or as a gang they have beat to a pulp some young guy for refusing to buy them their drink from the local shop.

If your not from the uk, but ever come for a visit, you can spot them a mile off. One of the main features of a Chav is they tuck their tracksuit bottoms into their socks...... erm why? I don't know. I used to do it when i was a kid if i was riding my bike in order to stop the bottom of my jeans getting stuck into the cogs. I would remove the socks as soon as i could because it looked so stupid to be walking around like that. Maybe that's why they like it, because it looks stupid and that's how they like to behave.

I just can't see what makes these krankie wannabes the way they are. They have no respect for anyone including their parents. Many people say it is down to their parents for the way the kids have turned out. I would have to agree with that, but it is also the lack of power the police have to do anything about these gangs.

If i had my own way i would just send them all to do 6 month solider training in the army, but hey, that would break their human rights, which in my opinion is another disgrace...... but i will leave that for another moan.

Do you agree with the above?

Everybody must hate call centres

I don't believe anyone can actually like ringing call centres. They are meant to be a form of communication between yourself and a business, and the business is meant to want your custom. However 90% of the time it is almost impossible to get through to a human being.

Press option 1 for an extra hour on hold

Press option 2 for an adviser to cut you off.

Press option 3 to listen to more of this crappy hold music

Press option 4 to make a pointless complaint

Or

Press option 5 for me to repeat these options.

For all other enquiries please hang up and don't try again.

If you do manage to find an option that works for you, and you also manage to withstand listening to a few hours of classical music, the very least you would expect is somebody on the other end of the phone that can actually help you. However this isn't always the case. I have experienced on a number of occasions that once you do get through to the human you were so eager to speak to, they struggle to understand a word you are saying. This is either because they are still learning the English language or they are simply thick as pig shit.

I have no doubt that my blood pressure most go through the roof when calling these "CONtact centres". Even if i am lucky enough not to be waiting long on hold, and do get straight through to an English speaking human, you can still guarantee i will still be passed through to 3 other departments before one of the advisers realises that i am not going to give in and hang up.

Please share with me your call centre nightmares. Or let me know some good companies for customer service and if you were impressed at how they run their call centres.

Men are not built for shopping

Can anyone answer this for me please?

Why do women expect me NOT to moan when we are out shopping? It has to be one of the most boring things a man can go through, and something we like to get over and done with as QUICKLY as possible. I shall let you into a few hints as to why i feel most men hate shopping. The first reason and in my opinion the main reason is women like to inspect everything. For example, there is a massive isle filled with bread, loads and loads of bread all equally as soft as each other, yet my wife likes to squeeze everyone before deciding which one she is going to buy (which just so happens to be the last one she picks up).

Now a man (Or should i say most men) would walk down the isle and put a loaf in the trolley and then he's straight round to the next isle, which lets say is fruit and veg. OK so i need an onion...... there you go an onion is in the trolley. I don't need to look at all the onions before picking one. I swear i can actually see women pressing their thumb against the onion.

What the hell for? An onion is meant to be hard.

Anyway that is one reason, i am not gonna go down every isle in the store with you, I'm sure you get what i am saying.

Another reason which can be more annoying than the first is that your wife or partner can often bump into someone they know and decide to have an in depth discussion about how the kids are doing at school, or the 2 week holiday they have just been on. This doesn't help the man in his quest to get out of the building as QUICKLY as possible. At this point, that actual moment in time, if you look at the mans face and see a smile, believe me it is a fake one.

However nothing can be worse for a man than going around ALL the shops with his partner looking for clothes. For god's sake ladies, please understand that men would rather push cocktail sticks into their eyeballs than wait for you to try on every top, skirt, dress, leggings, jacket, cardigan etc from every shop in a 10 mile radius of the city centre, only for you to go back to the first shop you looked in and buy the first thing you tried on.

If there is any men out there that disagree with me and actually enjoy this form of torture, please get in touch and share with the world your secret.